Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Ek Mulaqat

PM: I know you are upset.

MM: One is ‘naraz’ with one's own.

PM: Getting angry doesn’t solve anything.

MM: That is why I'm here.

PM: Leave these tantrums.

MM: Give me a few CBMs.

PM: I shall write you a nice tweet.

MM: I’m not Omar.

PM: OK, I will say something nasty about the Abdullahs.

MM: I want something concrete.

PM: How about evening flights at the Srinagar airport?

MM: Big deal! These NC wallas track night flights.

PM: I don’t know what else to give you.

MM: You know what I want.

PM: Listen, you shall be exempt from singing Bharat Mata Ki.

(At this point Amit Shah and other heavy-duty gents in the ante-room come running, hollering: Jai, Jai. The PM looks at them sternly, signaling ‘all is well’!)

MM: Can’t you offer me something better?

PM: Would you like Anupam Kher as the brand ambassador of Kashmir?

MM: No way. He is like an Amritsari shawl. Not even proper Kashmiri.

PM: You mean a cheapster?

MM: A fake shawl. If you know what that means.

PM: Get me an original pashmina shawl next time.

MM: I will. I promise. Just give me something — this one time.

PM: We can give you a quota in JNU.

MM (snidely): I hope you won’t call it anti-national quota?

PM: You just gave me a poor joke (PJ) for my new tweet.

MM: Keep my request in mind, please.

PM: Yes, yes. Of course.

MM: See you soon.

PM: Make sure the shawl has my name all over it.

@Sameer | PS: This communication is pure pasquinade. tongue emoticon